Overcoming Odds Summary – Different Not Deficient

Erin Crocker

This blog post is a summary of a piece originally written for the Overcoming Odds campaign Stand Up Speak Up, an initiative to stop the corruption within the adoption industry by sharing real-life experiences of adoptees.

Adoption & Household Life

Erin Crocker was born in Uijeongbu, South Korea. Her adoption led to a small, rural town in Tennessee when she was six years old. Her father was a pastor from another town and her mother was an advocate for people with special needs from Memphis. She had two brothers were also adoptees; the couple adopted the older one domestically and the younger one from Hong Kong.

Erin grew up in a strict household; she felt there was no room for error in any aspect of life, whether it was school or morals. This, compounded with her standing out as one of the only Asians in the area, made Eric feel deficient. She felt her differences were a problem that should be ignored to represent her family well. She never acknowledged her differences.

Dealing with Being Different

But the world kept reminding her of her differences. Some people would tell her to go back to her own country or remind her of how much she cost. Erin realized that she didn’t truly care what others thought of her. That helped her deal with ostracism for being different.

Learning About the Past

During college, as she hung out with her Korean friends, Erin became more interested in learning about and bonding with her adoptive and biological parents. In December of her junior year, she began searching for her biological parents. She learned that her birth mother died ten years earlier and that her father didn’t want any contact with her. Only her mother’s sister was actively looking for her. Erin says that her aunt is her only connection to her birth family.

The Future

Despite the unfortunate status of her birth family, Erin says she’s proud to be here, to have lived through a difficult time. And she’s optimistic about the future. She’s planning on going to graduate school for a master’s degree in Family Systems and then a Mediator’s license.

Erin wants to create a space for adoptees, adoptive families, and agencies to improve their relationships with each other. She hopes to have a stronger relationship with her adoptive parents and to find peace with her biological family. Erin shared her story with Overcoming Odds to help other adoptees reach the same goals and make sure they don’t go through what she did.

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You can read more stories like Erin’s here.