Choosing Between Anger and Peace

This blog post is a summary of a piece originally written for the Overcoming Odds campaign Stand Up Speak Up, an initiative to stop the corruption within the adoption industry by sharing real-life experiences of adoptees.

Early Life & Adoption

Abby Rulison was born Vera Sergeevna Perminova, in Ivanovo, Russia to parents who both suffered from alcoholism. When Abby was seven years old, police took her and her older sister, Nadya, out of the custody of their parents who had neglected the girls. The two separated and put up for adoption at different orphanages.

For the next two years, Abby moved through three orphanages, where other children regularly bullied her. The instability that arises from transferring from orphanage to orphanage only compounded this issue. In 2004, a couple with another child, Jenny, adopted Abby. This new life should have been an opportunity for her to have stability and connect with her adoptive family, but she didn’t.

Home Life & Adjusting

Abby rebelled against her adoptive parents. She challenged their decisions and fought with her sister every day. Eventually, Abby learned she suffers from Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, from her mother drinking while pregnant.

Abby lost her native language, family, culture, and the certainty of her future. Consequently, she had difficulty adjusting to a new language and culture. She joined a new family who had formed and solidified close bonds with each other. Therefore, it tough for Abby to feel loved, wanted, appreciated, and understood.

Mending Wounds

Abby’s anger prevented her from forging deeper relationships with her family; her family took years to realize that. Abby went to counseling and extinguished her anger and connected with her new family. As a result, she considers her sister her best friend, she can talk to her mother about anything, and she spends time with her father to learn from his wisdom.

In May 2016, Abby found her birth family on a Russian media site and reconnected with Nadya. She went on Skype with her parents and finally had the chance to ask questions she always wondered about, answered by the very people Abby thought abandoned her.

Joining Overcoming Odds

Abby is studying to be a Social Worker at Northern Arizona University. She wants to show other adopted children they can be loved and cared for. She wants to assist adopted children to break free of their past so they can move towards the future. Abby feels those who are empowered should empower others. She joined Overcoming Odds to help others and make their voices heard.

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You can read more stories like Abby’s here.